AuDHD: Expressing Injustice Sensitivity Through Art
Caroline has always been told she is too loud, that she is too quick to speak out about what doesn't involve her. What does that mean with her new autism diagnosis?
Caroline isn’t real. I am trying to talk to different parts of myself through Liminal Kin, a form of internal family systems or parts work. It’s a fun way to understand complex emotions without getting too attached to the feelings I’ve tried to ignore for so long, before my diagnosis. It turns fear into my favorite emotion: curiosity.
Caroline has always been outspoken and driven—her ADHD was diagnosed early, but her autism flew under the radar until adulthood. Now she’s wondering how to reach the usually quieter, creative parts of herself and let them speak, so they don’t explode at inopportune times.
Q: How can I express my anger about injustice without being “too loud” or “too much”?
Making art when I’m alone or with people I trust has been the best way to soothe my injustice sensitivity burns.
I’ve found moving my larger muscles helps me get in touch with stronger emotions. Finger paints and pastels are amazing for connecting to deep hurts—which those of us with AuDHD truly feel when confronted with injustice.
Choosing two colors—one bright and one dark—simplifies the process and helps me make something I can share, unless I get too into it and rip the paper (which is also a valid form of expression!).
Working on a large canvas, something that forces me to really stretch my arm—that big muscle—while listening to Rage Against the Machine, is something that has calmed me on really difficult days.
Q. As an adult with both ADHD and autism, how can I channel my impulsive urge to speak out against unfairness into something creative or productive, rather than seeing it as a flaw?
Reframing my urge to speak out as an important tool for society, instead of an embarrassing trait, has really helped. When the world is falling down around us, people willing to see the problems and say something is necessary.
I can’t live without my small notebook and pen, or at least my notes app. Writing out the comment or event that has upset me lets me express what I need to without offending someone in the moment.
Later, when I’m in a safe place to feel my anger, I relive the moment I wrote the note to myself. I try to connect the feeling to another and write poetry—whether a few lines or more. The process of expanding the moment and straining it through the sieve of intellectual work like this is how I allow myself to truly explore these issues.
Final thoughts
What we’ve been taught are problems can be converted into creative expression. Making art is both meditative and productive, which can calm a busy mind.
Sharing our art is also a doorway into discussing the things we want to change in the world. The more we open up, the easier it becomes to see possibilities where we once felt stuck.
Keep making your happy little brushstrokes and letting your brightest colors be “too much.”
In liminal kinship,
Pluto